Mood: Feeling Raw Red

I had an excellent if not odd weekend. I went to Conglomeration, a Sci-Fi convention in Louisville, KY. My first convention in the genre. Did I mention it was my first convention. Yeah. The only reason I went was to dig on the table of Small Beer Press and listen to a couple of writers. The incredible Kelly Link and up and coming Christopher Rowe. I got a bonus reading of Gwenda Bond and Gavin Grant. Which was worth the cover price. Very nice people with an awesome group dynamic. Made me jealous I don't have cool friends like that. I didn't give three hoots about the rest of the convention but I kept an eye on the scarier attendees. So rawk on me.

Reading: Trampoline a collection of short stories from Small Beer Press & Fat White Vampire Blues by Andrew Fox mucho gusto!

Mood: Tentatively psyched

I am going to post regularly, I swear. Swear to agnostics everywhere. So I have embarked on a mission. The mission is to gain control of my wayward earth vessel, my body. I am a man of considerable girth. I always will be a big man but I my quality of life has suffered for far too long. So I on my vacation last week I gathered a team of health professionals to help. Well I met with my doctor last week. Today I met with my nutrionist or dietician. So I'm at the hospital meeting her at a fountain near some elevators just reading the USAToday and I hear, "Mister Smith?" I look up and she's a knockout. By knockout I don't mean a supermodel, I mean my-kind-of-girl attractiveness. I usually pick men for my health providers not that I think women aren't competent but I don't feel I can be completely candid with them. Must be the southerner in me or male bias, argghh. It just makes me uncomfortable and puts me at unease. That said, she was more than fine and we came up with a decent plan. Find a substitute for soft drinks and no french fries. A order of fries is equal in calories to three baked potatoes with BUTTER. So I got some Splenda, a calorie free sweetner and put it in some tea. Not bad. Sticking to our plan though. Small significant changes that I can keep for a lifetime.

Writing wise I banged out a short story last week, that I believe is a keeper. I am proud of the work that went into it and the actual story itself. It's called Apples to Apples, We All Fall Down.

Mood: enh.

Long time no blog. Contrary to popular opinion, I was not kidnapped by the Luhr 3rd grade Sandinistas. I just didn't feel like blogging. Okay? I did see Matrix-Reloaded. My review: perky fight scenes with overwrought spirituality means big box office numbers! I did like it but does it rank in my top 10 movies? No. I must be maturing if a hyped up kung-fu flick doesn't spin my wheels anymore. Ahh I remember like it was yesterday when I was watching Wrestlemania on a big screen TV at Louisville Gardens.

Writing wise, I feel short-story productive but novel deficient. I don't know if the short stories are any good. I guess I should submit them and find out. I am taxing my brain for a solid novel concept but nada. I read somewhere that it does no good to chase something because it will always elude you. It is better to not concentrate on the subject and let it come to you. Zen, baby! I tell you I'm all over it sometimes. It's called taking your meds. I kid, really. I wish I had some pharmacutical aid.

Goodnight from Captain Zoloft

Reading: Persuader by Lee Child

Music: Chinatown by The Be Good Tanyas, Battle of Los Angeles by Rage Against The Machine (It's all about balance, people.)

Mood: Pensive

Word Count: over 500

Mea culpa. Another long time between posts. I offer no lame ass excuses for I am the god of these here parts and will act accordingly. Or something like that. I use this forum to mostly discuss writing and some of my personal tastes. People will remark that they knew me when I was a simple blogger and not a famous author. But I have never mentioned another of my talents, cartooning. My ex-partner-for-life called me this evening to let me know I recieved some mail. Well I used to submit cartoons to magazines to get published and make a little scratch. Very little scratch. I stopped cartooning seriuosly about a year and a half ago but Aquarium Fish Magazine still held onto some cartoons I sent them. They sent the paperwork to my old address and are publishing one of my cartoons in the near future. Which gets me to thinking that I should be cartooning instead of writing or at least doing both. I seem to have more success in the cartooning biz. I think I'll try both and see where that gets me.

Bon voyage, Rob

Mood: Pensive

Word Count: Today was submission day.

Ugh. Sorry I have denied anybody the pleasure of my dementia lately, twelve days to be exact. Well I turned 34 without much cursing this week. I usually take off from work and go over my life up to that moment. In the plus columns for this year: not on zoloft, I have a pet leopard gecko, I am godfather to my nephew Simon even after my godlessness tirades, I haven't lost any friends. In the crap column: I still am not a published writer, I still have a job at UPS, no love or hate interest, stagnate health, basement residence. But I still got my rosy goddamn outlook on life, by crikey. Pbbbbtt. Whatevah.

Good news on the music front. The Be Good Tanyas, a Canadian folk/alt-country band, will be making a stop at Headliners in Louisville, March 14th. I can't pigeonhole my taste in music anymore than I can my taste in women. Classic rock, bluegrass, hip hop, alt-country, indie, alt-country, americana, soul. I'm all over the place. I guess the only thing to say is I enjoy quality music( just like the women). http://www.begoodtanyas.com is the link to their website.

The do run Rob

Reading: From a Buick 8 by Stephen King

Music: Johnny Cash Murder, compitilation---most excellent recordings from the 60's all about hillbilly thuggery.

Mood: Fantastic

Word Count: 1,920 and climbing!

I had the day off of work so I went to ye olde Starbucks and wrote for three hours straight. That was just what the witch doctor ordered. I wrote a short story about a future designer drug called Snail that slows your body down to almost stopping it. Continued use retards aging. It's a little sci fi but not much and I am writing it specifically for this mag. Who know maybe I will actually get a sale. All I know is sitting in the coffee shop just writing is what I want to do for the rest of my life. My career if you will.

Rob

Reading: Tough Luck by Jason Starr

Mood: Out There, Dude

Word Count: A paltry 670

Last month was hectic at work. New boss was adjusting to our team and vice versa. I think we are starting to see the human side of her. So things are calming down. Honeymoon's over onto the lethargy of marriage. I had a woman at work tell me I had a good way of treating people as opposed to other supervisors. I asked her what she meant and she told me I treat people with respect and make them feel a part of the solution. I never get angry with anyone or try to talk down to people. She doesn't work for me but in the area and said a lot of the employees talk about me with respect. I needed that. I always felt people saw me as someone they could walk over.

Friday night I was planning to crash early when during some intermittent channel flipping I found a movie on HBO2 that I have been dying to see. Donnie Darko. I have not been this freaked out since the other time traveling movie The Twelve Monkeys. Jake Gyllenhal (sp.) was fantastically creepy and superbly weird. I never embraced my geeky side in high school or college sticking to the casual jock persona instead. A mistake in hindsight. I recommend the movie. Two big toes up!!

I had a good day Saturday with an early writers group meeting. Back in Louisville at the Hawley Cooke store I had a run in with a politician. Standing in the street blocking traffic was this woman, she was gawking at some store sign. I honked at her and she moved giving me a look. It was Congresswoman Anne Northup. I hate her politics but respect the way she performs her job. She just needs to get her ass out of the road.

Name dropper, Rob

Mood: Eh.

Word Count: Zilcho

I remember back in 1983 during Spring Break at Disney in Florida sitting in the parking lot in my god parents Winnebago. We were having lunch and resting from all the Mouse madness. On the little portable TV a space shuttle mission was preparing to launch. So the t-minus countdown ticks off and it launches. Plumes and plumes of white smoke fill the screen, you can't see the shuttle at all. Off to the east of Disney I look at the horizon and see a column of smoke growing slowly taller and taller. A glowing speck rides the tip of the smokey column and I sit slack-jawed. You need to realize this was the beginning of the MTV era and sensational journalism. A time I still had big dreams.

Out of here like Vladimir, Rob

Watching: The Bourne Identity DVD Matt Damon's best role since School Ties.

Mood: Cosi cosi

Word Count: 1,298

I talk a little bit about my Leopard Gecko Bella, but some of you may not know what one looks like.
http://uroplatus.net/gallery/view_photo.php?set_albumName=Breakers-pics&id=P1020001
This isn't mine but it looks similar. After a few months she will lose that bright coloring and become more spotted, I think. It's a pretty lizard don't you think. And the damn things live about 12-15 years.

Have a good day, Rob

Mood: Wiped Out

Word Count: Too miniscule to talk about.

In my job at UPS, I have an inordinate amount of paper shuffling bullshit. We also do more training than is necessary in order to be an ISO9000 company. It's some kind of international business recognition thing and I'm not even sure it is 9000, it could be some other number and probaly is. I had to do some quarterly certification on some inane crap. So I'm taking the test and you can only miss 4 questions to pass. I must have been there 2 hours on this one pain in the ass test. One question kept tripping me up every time but I thought I had answered it correctly on earlier failed tests. Well I captured the image of the computer program saying I answered incorrectly and it gave me the correct answer. I matched it with my answer and it was the same! Son of a ... I had been doing it correctly and this frelling idiot box was playing games with me. And my new supervisor doesn't accept excuses, she says quit being a victim. Oy vey!!

I need a new book to read but I am trying to curb my out of control consumer habits. I need to budget better and only purchase what I need not what I want. I also want to buy the new Zwan cd and The Bourne Identity DVD. Does it make me un-patriotic to not purchase so much?

MC Rob

Reading: well I want to read an essay collection by Sarah Vowels called Partly Cloudy Patriot. She is quirky and I digs me the quirky women.
Music: Smashing Pumpkins

Mood: Sedate

Word Count: 1,134

R. Kelly, Pete Townsend, and who will be the next contestant in "I thought she/he was 18, I swear."? Mick Jagger and Puff Daddy better be carding those hoochie mamas.
I'm working on a short story for a sci-fi chapbook. The theme is 'what time is it'. I think I have the germination of an idea. I also have to get cracking on another chapter for my novel. That is about it on the writing front.
Man I look at all that I've written on this blog and realize I need to borrow someone else's life. Anybody got one to spare?

Roberto Clemenza

Reading: Finished The Ticket Out. Good book but unfair last line.

Music: Barenaked Ladies Born On A Pirate Ship

Mood: Mea Culpa

Word Count: Over 3,000

I have neglected my audience too much. My therapist says I say I'm sorry too much so I won't say that. I started this blog to motivate my writing and it has helped. Last week I challenged Stephanie, from Clear Creek Writing Group, to a chapter a week on our respective novels. She has done two chapters of her novel and I have done one and a short story rewrite. So that's not a bad start. I just want to finish a novel but I am scared I won't be able to keep the same voice for such a long period of writing. Baby steps.....

Reading: The Ticket Out by Helen Knode It's a first time crime novel and I'm digging it. Her husband is author James Ellroy.

Listening to: Shut Up You Fucking Baby by David Cross A two CD live comedy album. High-larious!!

Mood: Trampled

Word Count: zilcho today

I have challenged Stephanie from my Clear Creek writing group to a chapter a week. Every two weeks at our meetings we need to produce two new chapters in our novel. Hot damn that's some motivation ain't it. We shall see if I hold up my end of it. And furthermore my Leopard Gecko, Bella, shed her skin for the first time last night. It's pretty cool when nature happens under your very nose. Now if she can just show me how to SHED some fat that would be even better.
I recommend The Mount by Carol Emshwiller. It's a story of aliens called Hoots who use us like horses. Very compelling tale of slavery mentality.

Adios, Roberto

Mood: Feeling Alright

Word Count: 3,247

I finished the first draft of my short story Turtle's Mad Dash. It is the longest story by far that I have written. I was working for the first time with more complicated sentences trying to break up the pattern of my tight, short writing. After a couple of revised drafts and a run throught the writing group and it should be ready for submission. That's my goal. Write. Revise. Submit.

Stinky Rob

Reading: The Mount By Carol Emshwiller

Music: Lucero(alt-country)

Mood: Fired Up

Word Count: 1,213

I had a day off of work and deserved it. I went out to Shelbyville early to have dinner with the ex before my Clear Creek Writers Group meeting. She was in a dither about her sister and brother-in-law. Her parents built their natural rivalry into an unhealthy one a looooong time ago and it doesn't look like it will be fixed anytime soon. My ex also has some issues she needs to deal with herself before she goes fixing her other relationships. I said issues like a true child born in the fires of therapy. Next I'll be yakking about boundaries and passive-aggressive qualities.

We had a good meeting with a new member. I have grown wary of our extended roster but I was motivated to write over a thousand words on my short story when I got home so....My goal for the new year is to write a plethora of stories and find a home for them. And to exercise more diligently. And pilot the space shuttle Endeavour straight up Leonardo DiCaprio's no talent ass. Aim high I always say!!

Rob the Bold

PS In case you missed it I'm calling my home run shot over the left field wall. I will be PUBLISHED IN 2003!!